Momma Duck

just a quick recap of what has been going on with my mom. in no particular order. (and grammatically incorrect lol.)
I also have no idea why the hell it keeps posting with the white background thing. GRRR

Mom had been sick for 7 weeks with pneumonia. she ended up in the hospital.

they still don't know what she has. they do know it's NOT contagious. they sent samples of everything to a few different places (CDC..ect)

but she saw 3 different pulmos and they all had the same reaction..."wow" and my mom was like "is that a good wow or a bad wow?" obviously it was a bad wow.

her sats had been stable and then one day they randomly went to the low 80s on 2L of o2. so they did a bronch and sucked out over 3 cups of mucus. when I met with her pulmo (the one she ended up staying with) I asked about different diseases/conditions and tests and results. he actually said the words "you know too much" after he left my mom goes "okay..what did you say and what did he say?" he actually said the words "you know too much".

once she was "stable" her docs decided it was safer to send her home to be in my "fully capable hands" than to have her stay there and risk contracting another infection. if she gets sick again in the next few months it could end really bad. I had to order her a HEPA filter mask for if she leaves the house (for dr appointments and such, also for when the construction starts on my house (from hurricane sandy)) she's not allowed to go Xmas or grocery shopping, or anywhere with big crowds without her HEPA mask. and I went over the house with the pledge & antibacterial wipes. she's always had a pretty non existent immune system (respiratory wise). and no one really knows why since her blood cell count is fine. years ago her doc told her she had Chronic Bronchitis (a type of COPD) but her new pulmo said that was unlikely since she never smoked. although when he did the bronch he said it did have the appearance of COPD. (you can now see why my health is so stubborn lol)

anyway, the doc said it will be a few months before she even starts to get back to normal. =[

 so yeah, that's what's going on with momma duck.

P.S. funny story.

my mom wanted a mask attachment for her neb so she can read while she does treatments. so my dad, trying to be helpful, went to the pharmacy and got one. my mom comes into my room later and goes "dad got me a mask for the neb but I can't seem to figure out how to get it on" I go upstairs and look at it. Silly daddy got a Pari mask which doesn't fit on regular nebs. my mom turns to my dad and goes "I appreciate the effort hun, but leave the lung stuff to the kid"

I love my family 

My Fighting Zebra

My Fighting Zebra, Melissa, is finally at rest.

Melissa went into hospice in early March, and was not expected to last more than a few days.
but true to form, she managed to make it for another 7 months.


It is hard to explain the feelings I have right now. Of course it is heartbreaking to lose someone like her, but at the same time, I know she was ready to be free of pain. In a way, I was ready too.

After watching her suffer in pain and struggle to breathe for so long, peace became the blessing. We had talked about it many times, knowing there was no amount of medicine that could even take the edge off and that there was no chance of improvement, we began accept and even welcome the "end".


Melissa was a true inspiration to anyone that knew her. Despite her illness she always managed to smile and laugh; And those around her couldn't help but do the same. Her joy was contagious and she brought out the best in people. Melissa's love for her family and friends was second to none, her loyalty and generosity unmatched. She had a heart of pure gold. Not a day will go by without me remembering her. I have only known her for about 3 years but in that time our bond became one of the strongest I've ever had.

Zebra & Ducky. 

Best Friends Forever.

Breathe Easy my Fighting Zebra,

may you finally have the peace you deserve.

March 12th, 1983 - October 24th, 2012

FINALLY! ANSWERS! (and more)

Cardiac:
So yeah, had a pacemaker check, electrophysiologist & cardiologist today.
next 2 pacemaker checks are oct 30th & january...4th? lol I forget.

also, epic, EPIC news.
for 7 years I've had a "mystery" heart issue that doctors couldnt quite figure out that has kept me from exerting much energy. my mom & I had begun to accept that this was as good as it was going to get. but guess what. THEY FINALLY FOUND IT!
along with the Afib which we already knew I had, the also found PVC (Premature ventricular contraction) (also know as Premature Ventricular Complex or Premature Ventricular Beat)
and to make things better. It can most likely be treated!
I start medication tomorrow, at a small dose 4xs a day. With a follow up appointment September 5th. If I'm responding well to the meds they will increase the dose until I get stabilized.
I was so excited. I cried. I can't believe they finally found it!
it was such great timing too, since I brought my cardiologist a present today, and today, she deserved it 100 times over! I freakin love her <3

Cardiac love:
Also on a side note, one of my best friends, Ann, who I have known for 7-8yrs is finally coming up from Virginia to visit. She is a heart patient as well, my #1 CHD sister! I'm going to be a brides maid in her wedding and this is the first time we're meeting in person. its true love right here.

Anxiety:
I didn't really get any good news as far as anxiety. It has been really bad lately but I can only take low dose Ativan. Unfortunately due to all my heart issues, I can't take anything else. not happy about that, but ya win some ya lose some I guess...


(GIRLS ONLY)
I also got the clear from the cardiologist to take birth control, as long as its estrogen only. Gyno is hoping this will ease my back pain. which would be totally awesome. She did find some other abnormalities, so I'll see her again in a month. *Fingers Crossed*

A Heavy Heart

As many of you know I lost an amazing friend last night.
a friend who has touched the hearts and changed the lives of literally thousands of people. The person I'm talking about is of course, the beautiful and courageous Rachael Wakefield

Rachael's fight was a long one. She has been ill since she was 13. and has been on oxygen since then. She fought hard with her lungs never letting them defeat her. on March 11th, 2010 Rachael finally received her double lung transplant, the gift she'd so desperately needed. It was a difficult recovery, but as with everything, Rachy overcame and was 'healthy' at last. Unfortunately, it didn't last. One side of Rachael's diaphragm became paralyzed due to her being on the ventilator for so long after surgery, this paired with the immunosurpressants made her very susceptible to respiratory infections, and pneumonia. In addition to this, Rachy also developed Primary Pulmonary Hypertension.


Rachy fought so very hard throughout her 23 years of life. Her smile and spirit were contagious. My prayer had been that as her time came she would float to Heaven peacefully as the angel she already was. And she did. And I am thankful that she is no longer struggling to breathe, or fighting off pain. I'm comforted knowing that she is at peace. But I will never stop missing her. She was a true gift to this world. Her bravery will not be soon forgotten. Her spirit and her legacy will live on. I was so honored to call her a friend and proud to have met her. The sky shines brighter now as the heavens have gained a most brilliant star.

Breathe Easy, Fly Free, Rest Peacefully.
Rachael L Wakefield


Live Life then Give Life.
Be an Organ Donor.


Links:
Rachael's Legacy
News Tribute to Rachy












http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbQfBupI2Cg

Some Thoughts

Thought #1.
So I feel like there is something in my life, I cant quite figure out just what it is. I feel like there is something I should be doing, someone I should be with. I feel like I need to be making more of a difference, more of an impact, but I don't know where to start. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough, maybe I'm trying too hard.

Thought #2.
I'm sick of immature people. Particularly people who talk about topics they know nothing about with some kind of authority. I'll give one example.
Today I was talking with a friend and her guy friend. This guy claimed to be 21. He was ranting and raving about there is no such thing as bisexual or homosexual' and 'straight people have love, gays & bis simply have lust' I let him rant for awhile then he eventually crossed a line saying 'being gay is just wrong'. That was when I had to chime in. I remained civil about it the whole time, I just asked him "How do you know what homosexuality is if you're not gay?, What gives you the right to talk like you know their feelings and emotions?". He had no defence. And to think that he was convinced he was right is just insane.

Thought #3.
I'm so tired of being an insomniac. I'm sick sitting awake until 4am and then not being able to wake up until 11am or later. If anyone wants to be my personal head basher and knock me out every night that would be great! I already have a personal alarm clock (lol megz)

Thought #4.
I'm so sick of prednisone already! Kristin was right. It shrinks the bladder! lolz.

okay, I'm done. Goodnight world.