Sudden Deaths hit the hardest.

Yesterday was an incredibly hard day.
It started out normal, woke up, medicated, showered, got dressed.
Then I headed off to Wayne Day (kind of festival in my town, Wayne)
When I arrived I realized I had missed a text from a friend from work.
the text said: "Hey Kate, Just cuz I know you're good friends with her, apparently Yollie the PCT has CHF and is in the ER, they had to intubate her :("

Well I freaked, got back in my car and went home (after stopping at walgreens to get Yollie a card).

I got home, put my lunch in my bag and left. headed to work. (to see Yollie)

I arrived at about 11:30 am. I rounded the corner and saw 2 people in the hallway, one of which I could see was Yollie's brother. I stopped and spoke with them, asked if it was ok if I went in to see her. They said yes.

I went in, and literally fell over. It was just so shocking. To see someone who I had just spoken to (asking if she needed a ride to work, as I often pick her up) on a ventilator. She was 100% dependent on the vent. o2 sats still in the 70s. BP at the time was 49/27.

This is what I've gathered so far as to what happened:
She came into work that day, for day shift (7a-3p) which she never does, and thank God she did, if she hadnt, this would have all happened at home, and she lives alone, so no one would have known.
so yeah, she came in, mentioned she was feeling dizzy and short of breath, so her manager sent her to the ER. upon arrival in the ER they sent her to get a CT scan of her head (for the dizzyness) when she lie flat for the test is when everything started to snowball. once back in the ER they did blood gases and other assorted blood work.
her oxygen saturation was insanely low. they put her on the bi-pap for awhile, to no avail. then decided to intubate. :

While I was there they did a chest Xray. Both lung were completely white washed. one of the doctors said something about a 'flash pulmonary edema'.
During the time I was there she was mildly awake, making eye contact, following people with her eyes, squeezing hands, and of course biting and fighting the vent.
One of the doctors also ordered a chest tube because there was a slight pnuemothorax in the left lung. the chest tube was a preventative measure because as it was the vent was just barely sustaining her with both lungs, if one collapsed it wouldn't have been good.

anyway, I stayed with her from 11:30 until 3pm when I had to drag myself away from her and start my shift.

I was finishing up my beginning of the shift routine when I got a text from a friend who worked in the ER. simply saying "=(" I replied "its not looking good?"
2 seconds later another friend amazing friend (of both mine & yollie's), Zamy, ran into the room I was in and just said "they're doing CPR"

I looked back at the nurse I was helping at the time and she nodded. I washed my hands and left the room. Zamy & I stood in the hall for a moment, she hugged me and I cried. I didnt go back to Yollie at that point because a) I was still at work and b) they didnt want the whole hospital to know yet. then my work phone went off. I hit the 'end' button cuz I really couldnt deal with anything just yet. but then the charge nurse came around the corner and told me I had a phone call from the ER. I already knew what they were going to say.
I answered the phone already crying.
"Kate?"
"yes?"
"Yollie just passed away, if you want to come down the family said you can"

I'm honestly not sure if I even hung up the phone.
I RAN down the hall.
jumped in the elevator which thankfully didn't take long.
in the elevator I collapsed into a sobbing heap.
once downstairs I ran down the hall to the ER, crying.
the security guard tried to ask if I was okay, again, I don't know if I responded.
I ran to her room where I waited outside the curtain, I didn't want to barge in on the family.
once being invited into the room I fully lost it.

I just couldn't believe it. someone who 8hrs earlier walked into the ER joking that she just wanted to go home. was dead.
at about 5pm the supervisor came down. talked with the family. then talked with me. she decided I needed to be sent home. she called my mom, who came and got me.
Zamy came down then too, walked around with me, cried with me.

I just. I cant believe all of this. Yollie was an incredibly amazing friend. and one of the best PCTs we'll ever have. She will truly be missed by everyone.

I love you Yollie. Rest In Peace <3



left: Zamy, right: Yollie