STRESSING!

stressing over life I guess. time is running out before I go back to work. I havnt yet decided what unit I wanna work on. I have to find out if they're gonna let me come back the 2nd week of december cuz I have to know if I'm going to London cuz I have to figure out what to do with the international phone.

I also have the opportunity to go to Missouri for Thanksgiving.
but if I go to Missouri then I'll be going straight from there to London, which would mean an absurd amount of packing.
but I really wanna do both

but then as soon as I get back I'll be going back to work so I dont know when Mebsie is gonna be able to come out, and when we're gonna be able to go see Melissa.

its like on the one hand, I'm desperate to go back to work cuz I love my job, plus, with Christmas coming, I need the money. but on the other hand I'm dreading it, cuz I love being able to just spontaneously do something.

and I REALLLLLY need to get working on school stuff because I'm supposed to go back to school in January, which I'm dreading but I need to get the ball rolling.
but I cant even start studying without freaking out. and its making me want to just give up. I'm starting to think I just cant do it!

plus, I dont wanna be a new nurse at the age of 30, its not even worth it by that point.