looks like I'm going to have to leave my job.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.
I love my job, truly. I just cant really handle it anymore.
looking for a new job, something in photography, phlebotomy, or even a secretary.
I feel like something is missing from my life. I really cant figure out what it is.
I do know I'm missing my CF friends. I know that distancing myself is the best thing for me. But it still saddens me that I cant be as involved as I'd like to.
Medically have been having issues. Just not been much into discussing it.
I have to say I'm thankful for my friends who have been supporting me through this shit time in my life.
I love you all
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Update
hey everyone,
yeah its been awhile,
I've been going through a lot of hard times and just not been up for anything really.
been suffering from depression really bad. did some time in a mental health program, changed some meds around. etc. I'm still seeing a psychologist & psychiatrist.
some medical issues have come up but I'm not going to go into that.
I'm just really messed up emotionally right now and I don't know where I want to be in life.
incase you havnt noticed I deactivated my facebook, the world of CF is far too overwhelming right now, and I can't handle anymore sadness/loss/sickness/grief in my life.
I love you all.
yeah its been awhile,
I've been going through a lot of hard times and just not been up for anything really.
been suffering from depression really bad. did some time in a mental health program, changed some meds around. etc. I'm still seeing a psychologist & psychiatrist.
some medical issues have come up but I'm not going to go into that.
I'm just really messed up emotionally right now and I don't know where I want to be in life.
incase you havnt noticed I deactivated my facebook, the world of CF is far too overwhelming right now, and I can't handle anymore sadness/loss/sickness/grief in my life.
I love you all.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sudden Deaths hit the hardest.
Yesterday was an incredibly hard day.
It started out normal, woke up, medicated, showered, got dressed.
Then I headed off to Wayne Day (kind of festival in my town, Wayne)
When I arrived I realized I had missed a text from a friend from work.
the text said: "Hey Kate, Just cuz I know you're good friends with her, apparently Yollie the PCT has CHF and is in the ER, they had to intubate her :("
Well I freaked, got back in my car and went home (after stopping at walgreens to get Yollie a card).
I got home, put my lunch in my bag and left. headed to work. (to see Yollie)
I arrived at about 11:30 am. I rounded the corner and saw 2 people in the hallway, one of which I could see was Yollie's brother. I stopped and spoke with them, asked if it was ok if I went in to see her. They said yes.
I went in, and literally fell over. It was just so shocking. To see someone who I had just spoken to (asking if she needed a ride to work, as I often pick her up) on a ventilator. She was 100% dependent on the vent. o2 sats still in the 70s. BP at the time was 49/27.
This is what I've gathered so far as to what happened:
She came into work that day, for day shift (7a-3p) which she never does, and thank God she did, if she hadnt, this would have all happened at home, and she lives alone, so no one would have known.
so yeah, she came in, mentioned she was feeling dizzy and short of breath, so her manager sent her to the ER. upon arrival in the ER they sent her to get a CT scan of her head (for the dizzyness) when she lie flat for the test is when everything started to snowball. once back in the ER they did blood gases and other assorted blood work.
her oxygen saturation was insanely low. they put her on the bi-pap for awhile, to no avail. then decided to intubate. :
While I was there they did a chest Xray. Both lung were completely white washed. one of the doctors said something about a 'flash pulmonary edema'.
During the time I was there she was mildly awake, making eye contact, following people with her eyes, squeezing hands, and of course biting and fighting the vent.
One of the doctors also ordered a chest tube because there was a slight pnuemothorax in the left lung. the chest tube was a preventative measure because as it was the vent was just barely sustaining her with both lungs, if one collapsed it wouldn't have been good.
anyway, I stayed with her from 11:30 until 3pm when I had to drag myself away from her and start my shift.
I was finishing up my beginning of the shift routine when I got a text from a friend who worked in the ER. simply saying "=(" I replied "its not looking good?"
2 seconds later another friend amazing friend (of both mine & yollie's), Zamy, ran into the room I was in and just said "they're doing CPR"
I looked back at the nurse I was helping at the time and she nodded. I washed my hands and left the room. Zamy & I stood in the hall for a moment, she hugged me and I cried. I didnt go back to Yollie at that point because a) I was still at work and b) they didnt want the whole hospital to know yet. then my work phone went off. I hit the 'end' button cuz I really couldnt deal with anything just yet. but then the charge nurse came around the corner and told me I had a phone call from the ER. I already knew what they were going to say.
I answered the phone already crying.
"Kate?"
"yes?"
"Yollie just passed away, if you want to come down the family said you can"
I'm honestly not sure if I even hung up the phone.
I RAN down the hall.
jumped in the elevator which thankfully didn't take long.
in the elevator I collapsed into a sobbing heap.
once downstairs I ran down the hall to the ER, crying.
the security guard tried to ask if I was okay, again, I don't know if I responded.
I ran to her room where I waited outside the curtain, I didn't want to barge in on the family.
once being invited into the room I fully lost it.
I just couldn't believe it. someone who 8hrs earlier walked into the ER joking that she just wanted to go home. was dead.
at about 5pm the supervisor came down. talked with the family. then talked with me. she decided I needed to be sent home. she called my mom, who came and got me.
Zamy came down then too, walked around with me, cried with me.
I just. I cant believe all of this. Yollie was an incredibly amazing friend. and one of the best PCTs we'll ever have. She will truly be missed by everyone.
I love you Yollie. Rest In Peace <3
left: Zamy, right: Yollie
It started out normal, woke up, medicated, showered, got dressed.
Then I headed off to Wayne Day (kind of festival in my town, Wayne)
When I arrived I realized I had missed a text from a friend from work.
the text said: "Hey Kate, Just cuz I know you're good friends with her, apparently Yollie the PCT has CHF and is in the ER, they had to intubate her :("
Well I freaked, got back in my car and went home (after stopping at walgreens to get Yollie a card).
I got home, put my lunch in my bag and left. headed to work. (to see Yollie)
I arrived at about 11:30 am. I rounded the corner and saw 2 people in the hallway, one of which I could see was Yollie's brother. I stopped and spoke with them, asked if it was ok if I went in to see her. They said yes.
I went in, and literally fell over. It was just so shocking. To see someone who I had just spoken to (asking if she needed a ride to work, as I often pick her up) on a ventilator. She was 100% dependent on the vent. o2 sats still in the 70s. BP at the time was 49/27.
This is what I've gathered so far as to what happened:
She came into work that day, for day shift (7a-3p) which she never does, and thank God she did, if she hadnt, this would have all happened at home, and she lives alone, so no one would have known.
so yeah, she came in, mentioned she was feeling dizzy and short of breath, so her manager sent her to the ER. upon arrival in the ER they sent her to get a CT scan of her head (for the dizzyness) when she lie flat for the test is when everything started to snowball. once back in the ER they did blood gases and other assorted blood work.
her oxygen saturation was insanely low. they put her on the bi-pap for awhile, to no avail. then decided to intubate. :
While I was there they did a chest Xray. Both lung were completely white washed. one of the doctors said something about a 'flash pulmonary edema'.
During the time I was there she was mildly awake, making eye contact, following people with her eyes, squeezing hands, and of course biting and fighting the vent.
One of the doctors also ordered a chest tube because there was a slight pnuemothorax in the left lung. the chest tube was a preventative measure because as it was the vent was just barely sustaining her with both lungs, if one collapsed it wouldn't have been good.
anyway, I stayed with her from 11:30 until 3pm when I had to drag myself away from her and start my shift.
I was finishing up my beginning of the shift routine when I got a text from a friend who worked in the ER. simply saying "=(" I replied "its not looking good?"
2 seconds later another friend amazing friend (of both mine & yollie's), Zamy, ran into the room I was in and just said "they're doing CPR"
I looked back at the nurse I was helping at the time and she nodded. I washed my hands and left the room. Zamy & I stood in the hall for a moment, she hugged me and I cried. I didnt go back to Yollie at that point because a) I was still at work and b) they didnt want the whole hospital to know yet. then my work phone went off. I hit the 'end' button cuz I really couldnt deal with anything just yet. but then the charge nurse came around the corner and told me I had a phone call from the ER. I already knew what they were going to say.
I answered the phone already crying.
"Kate?"
"yes?"
"Yollie just passed away, if you want to come down the family said you can"
I'm honestly not sure if I even hung up the phone.
I RAN down the hall.
jumped in the elevator which thankfully didn't take long.
in the elevator I collapsed into a sobbing heap.
once downstairs I ran down the hall to the ER, crying.
the security guard tried to ask if I was okay, again, I don't know if I responded.
I ran to her room where I waited outside the curtain, I didn't want to barge in on the family.
once being invited into the room I fully lost it.
I just couldn't believe it. someone who 8hrs earlier walked into the ER joking that she just wanted to go home. was dead.
at about 5pm the supervisor came down. talked with the family. then talked with me. she decided I needed to be sent home. she called my mom, who came and got me.
Zamy came down then too, walked around with me, cried with me.
I just. I cant believe all of this. Yollie was an incredibly amazing friend. and one of the best PCTs we'll ever have. She will truly be missed by everyone.
I love you Yollie. Rest In Peace <3
left: Zamy, right: Yollie
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Excitement Overload
Where to start where to start?!
I'm selling purple CF wrist bands that say "Breathe Easy Cure Cystic Fibrosis"
$3.00 each! message me on facebook for more details!
I'm also selling Scentsy! Check it out!
Its awesome stuff! Much more fiscally responsible than a yankee candle as they last much longer and the fillers are only a few dollars. they're flameless, there hundreds of warmers to chose from, and over 80 fragrances.
Work has been absolutely insane lately! I worked th past 4 nights. 3-11:30pm. last night I worked 1-11:30pm. and we were short like 3 nurses.
Friday was an unpleasant night, it started out with us calling a Rapid Response at 3:30. thus pushing us back about 2hrs. The family of this person hadnt been fully educated on what "DNR" meant, so they were following the nurse around all night. Finally when his blood pressure got around 40/30 she had to explain to them that he was going to die. and he did. right at the end of the shift. I cried. Its never easy to lose a patient. Especially when they are so loved by their family.
Saturday wasnt too bad, it had its crazy moments, but overall, a decent night.
Sunday night we had this woman come up from the ER. from the moment I saw her I knew it was going to be an interesting night. she was fussing and screaming. turns out this little old woman was 90 yrs old. and God Bless her! she put up some fight! If I have that kind of energy when I'm 90 that would be awesome. but anyway. It took myself, a male tech, a nurse & a house doctor, and 45mins later we finally had wrist restraints on her. It took about 12 attempts before we finally got her BP too! unfortunately she was very confused, kept carrying on about dogs coming down from the ceiling and such. I must say though, thankfully she was in for dehydration, because if not, we would have been covered in spit! We all walked away with bruises from being kicked and punched, and scratches from being bitten and clawed at.
And last night we (Monday) had a man detoxing, and I've seen him sober, and hes really a nice guy, but holy hell, when he is detoxing! I ended up having to call Code Grey (security) and like 6 big muscle dudes had to come hold him down so we could restrain him for his own safety, as he cant ever stand up without falling over. and he pulled out his IV about 4 times, and trust me, getting an IV in a man who just wants to flail around is no easy task. and his flailing and desire to get up lasted the entire 10yrs I was there.
ALSO!, this weekend I've organized a 'Lungers' playdate! lots of my lovely CF friends are coming out to spend the weekend! I'm totally psyched!!
And finally, dont forget to sponsor me in this years greatstrides walk for CF!!
(I'm also selling Tshirts for Bush's Team Breathe!)
I'm selling purple CF wrist bands that say "Breathe Easy Cure Cystic Fibrosis"
$3.00 each! message me on facebook for more details!
I'm also selling Scentsy! Check it out!
Its awesome stuff! Much more fiscally responsible than a yankee candle as they last much longer and the fillers are only a few dollars. they're flameless, there hundreds of warmers to chose from, and over 80 fragrances.
Work has been absolutely insane lately! I worked th past 4 nights. 3-11:30pm. last night I worked 1-11:30pm. and we were short like 3 nurses.
Friday was an unpleasant night, it started out with us calling a Rapid Response at 3:30. thus pushing us back about 2hrs. The family of this person hadnt been fully educated on what "DNR" meant, so they were following the nurse around all night. Finally when his blood pressure got around 40/30 she had to explain to them that he was going to die. and he did. right at the end of the shift. I cried. Its never easy to lose a patient. Especially when they are so loved by their family.
Saturday wasnt too bad, it had its crazy moments, but overall, a decent night.
Sunday night we had this woman come up from the ER. from the moment I saw her I knew it was going to be an interesting night. she was fussing and screaming. turns out this little old woman was 90 yrs old. and God Bless her! she put up some fight! If I have that kind of energy when I'm 90 that would be awesome. but anyway. It took myself, a male tech, a nurse & a house doctor, and 45mins later we finally had wrist restraints on her. It took about 12 attempts before we finally got her BP too! unfortunately she was very confused, kept carrying on about dogs coming down from the ceiling and such. I must say though, thankfully she was in for dehydration, because if not, we would have been covered in spit! We all walked away with bruises from being kicked and punched, and scratches from being bitten and clawed at.
And last night we (Monday) had a man detoxing, and I've seen him sober, and hes really a nice guy, but holy hell, when he is detoxing! I ended up having to call Code Grey (security) and like 6 big muscle dudes had to come hold him down so we could restrain him for his own safety, as he cant ever stand up without falling over. and he pulled out his IV about 4 times, and trust me, getting an IV in a man who just wants to flail around is no easy task. and his flailing and desire to get up lasted the entire 10yrs I was there.
ALSO!, this weekend I've organized a 'Lungers' playdate! lots of my lovely CF friends are coming out to spend the weekend! I'm totally psyched!!
And finally, dont forget to sponsor me in this years greatstrides walk for CF!!
(I'm also selling Tshirts for Bush's Team Breathe!)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Frustrations
So yeah, went to register for classes today.
FAIL.
neither of the 2 classes I needed were open. and its only the first day for in person registration.
and I couldnt register online because I was out last semester because I was sick.
BULL.
So I registered for the ONLY class I can possibly take in the nursing program.
(a class that they originally told me I didnt need to take because I had taken it at another school)
but FINE.
I'll take it, just for the sake of taking a class so I can keep my 3.75GPA. and have the option of online registration next semester.
Also, I found out today, that at this school, I need 3 math classes before I can get in the nursing program. as opposed to the 2 I needed at the other school (1 of which I already took)
I'm so fed up.
I'm obviously not cut out for this.
I'm starting to think I should just give up.
FAIL.
neither of the 2 classes I needed were open. and its only the first day for in person registration.
and I couldnt register online because I was out last semester because I was sick.
BULL.
So I registered for the ONLY class I can possibly take in the nursing program.
(a class that they originally told me I didnt need to take because I had taken it at another school)
but FINE.
I'll take it, just for the sake of taking a class so I can keep my 3.75GPA. and have the option of online registration next semester.
Also, I found out today, that at this school, I need 3 math classes before I can get in the nursing program. as opposed to the 2 I needed at the other school (1 of which I already took)
I'm so fed up.
I'm obviously not cut out for this.
I'm starting to think I should just give up.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
whats new in the duck pond
So yeah, its been awhile.
Still working! as you know I'm only part time now, but its going good.
Registering for school next week.
with the weather my health has been up & down.
also me upper ear piercing on my left ear got all infected again.
It was really weird. it was totally fine, I just took the earrings out to soak them. and there was a weird bump in my ear, I squeezed it, and BAM! explosion of infectious goo! so yeah, I guess I opened up the infection again and its like ouchy again.
I'm not happy.
but yeah, moving on.
I went upstate NY to joanie's with Daniella & my family. it was nice.
then I stayed with Cindy for 2 days.
we went grocery shopping, hung out with her friend john,
oh and got locked out!
then we were bums, and laid in bed watching movies for 24hrs!
Locked out
So yeah, thats about it. I'm currently at my friends house playing with her and her adorable children!
Lots of love everyone!
Breathe Easy<3
Still working! as you know I'm only part time now, but its going good.
Registering for school next week.
with the weather my health has been up & down.
also me upper ear piercing on my left ear got all infected again.
It was really weird. it was totally fine, I just took the earrings out to soak them. and there was a weird bump in my ear, I squeezed it, and BAM! explosion of infectious goo! so yeah, I guess I opened up the infection again and its like ouchy again.
I'm not happy.
but yeah, moving on.
I went upstate NY to joanie's with Daniella & my family. it was nice.
then I stayed with Cindy for 2 days.
we went grocery shopping, hung out with her friend john,
oh and got locked out!
then we were bums, and laid in bed watching movies for 24hrs!
Locked out
So yeah, thats about it. I'm currently at my friends house playing with her and her adorable children!
Lots of love everyone!
Breathe Easy<3
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Work Work Work
Well FINALLY!!!!
today was my first day back to work!
GOSH! I missed it so much!
I missed everything, I missed my co-workers, I missed the patients, I missed my job!
It was sooooo great to be back!
It was even better because it was Mary's birthday. and when she walked in I jumped up and yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!" and shes like "YOU'RE BACK?!?"
and then we had a hug! and it was nice!
As most of you know, I've decided it was best for me to go back as a part timer.
Full time was a bit too much for me, and this way I'll have time to go back to school this semester. (I was off for the summer & didnt go back in fall because of my health problems)
So in January I'll be going back to school!
I'll also now have the opportunity to work more than 20hrs / week without having to work 40hrs.
All in all, I'm just Super glad to be back, doing what I love!!!
<3<3<3
today was my first day back to work!
GOSH! I missed it so much!
I missed everything, I missed my co-workers, I missed the patients, I missed my job!
It was sooooo great to be back!
It was even better because it was Mary's birthday. and when she walked in I jumped up and yelled "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!" and shes like "YOU'RE BACK?!?"
and then we had a hug! and it was nice!
As most of you know, I've decided it was best for me to go back as a part timer.
Full time was a bit too much for me, and this way I'll have time to go back to school this semester. (I was off for the summer & didnt go back in fall because of my health problems)
So in January I'll be going back to school!
I'll also now have the opportunity to work more than 20hrs / week without having to work 40hrs.
All in all, I'm just Super glad to be back, doing what I love!!!
<3<3<3
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Confusion
well yeah,
as some of you have heard, I was fired from my job because I couldnt get cleared to go back.
However thats not the case. When I called Human Resorces they told me that my boss couldnt fire me. (theres more detail to that but I dont feel like going into it)
I'm thinking about taking a photography & graphic design course. (associates degree)
So next week my mom has meetings in both London & Oxford. and we were going to try to use her frequent flier miles to bring me along. however I'm not seeing much of a point anymore. I've lost all my friends. because I'm a huge jerk. and no one wants to see me.
I'm counting on abbeh. my one UK friend who hasnt turned me down.
ILY abbeh <3
as some of you have heard, I was fired from my job because I couldnt get cleared to go back.
However thats not the case. When I called Human Resorces they told me that my boss couldnt fire me. (theres more detail to that but I dont feel like going into it)
I'm thinking about taking a photography & graphic design course. (associates degree)
So next week my mom has meetings in both London & Oxford. and we were going to try to use her frequent flier miles to bring me along. however I'm not seeing much of a point anymore. I've lost all my friends. because I'm a huge jerk. and no one wants to see me.
I'm counting on abbeh. my one UK friend who hasnt turned me down.
ILY abbeh <3
Monday, May 24, 2010
More emotions
So yeah, I had a massive meltdown yesterday morning.
well I guess it was the afternoon.
It was all triggered by no one waking me up, so I slept till 1pm. and since I take an hour in the shower, that was clearly not a good thing. since I leave the house at 2:15 to go to work. but yeah. after I got out of the shower I lost it. since it was 2pm. and my dad was not very helpful. plus I really didnt feel up to going to work, but I only have 8 sick days left for the rest of the year. so I need to not waste them. and I really didnt feel like getting the crap beat out of me by one of our confused patients. I already have scars from that one.
I guess the breakdown was really just a build up of stress.
I havnt had a real day off in weeks.
my last weekend off was the weekend ziggeh was here. I hardly sat down that whole weekend. and my last day off I spent at the hospital visiting cindy.
dont get me wrong. I love them both. but I need a break!
so today I decided to stay in bed.
I've been starting to feel crappy.
another thing adding to my crazy emotions is the fact that I suck at relationships. and I'm kinda in one now. and I dont wanna fuck it up. I dont wanna ruin our friendship if we end up not being together. I wish I could verbalize whats going through my head when I'm with him. but for some reason all I do is giggle.
I just feel kinda useless lately.
well I guess it was the afternoon.
It was all triggered by no one waking me up, so I slept till 1pm. and since I take an hour in the shower, that was clearly not a good thing. since I leave the house at 2:15 to go to work. but yeah. after I got out of the shower I lost it. since it was 2pm. and my dad was not very helpful. plus I really didnt feel up to going to work, but I only have 8 sick days left for the rest of the year. so I need to not waste them. and I really didnt feel like getting the crap beat out of me by one of our confused patients. I already have scars from that one.
I guess the breakdown was really just a build up of stress.
I havnt had a real day off in weeks.
my last weekend off was the weekend ziggeh was here. I hardly sat down that whole weekend. and my last day off I spent at the hospital visiting cindy.
dont get me wrong. I love them both. but I need a break!
so today I decided to stay in bed.
I've been starting to feel crappy.
another thing adding to my crazy emotions is the fact that I suck at relationships. and I'm kinda in one now. and I dont wanna fuck it up. I dont wanna ruin our friendship if we end up not being together. I wish I could verbalize whats going through my head when I'm with him. but for some reason all I do is giggle.
I just feel kinda useless lately.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I'm not "ok" stop asking.
No, I'm not okay. No, I'm not going to tell the whole story every time someone asks. so here you go!
I'm kinda going through too much right now to deal with everyone wanting to ask whats wrong all at once, so just read this.
On Saturday, my 21st birthday, a CF legend died. Eva M.
Rest In Peace Eva. Breathe Easy Angel.
On Monday, my uncle died. Leaving behind my 17yr old cousin. <3
after that all the days start blending together.
I hit a bunny on my way home from work, and cried.
I had a nightsweat caused by one of the meds I'm on mixed with the high level of stress I'm under right now. and when I say nightsweat, I mean like. climbed out of a pool wearing all my clothes and got in bed. Have to change the sheets, type of nightsweat. This nightsweat proceeded to ruin my brand new Ipod touch that I got on saturday for my birthday. I got a parking ticket for parking infront of my own house, on a side street that no one drives on unless they live there. Not that I could have avoided it. Theres a huge dumpster in my drive-way for the useless construction workers. Along with my mom's fat assed car. and my grandma who is down planning the funeral for my uncle. and I cant park next to her because that leaves a foot between my car (with the door closed) and the brick wall. which is fine for me to get out, but my dad is the one that has to move the car in the morning so he can get out of the garage.
thankfully my amazing best friend is going to have her step-dad try to get rid of the ticket for me.
now, moving on.
last night at work, I had two meltdowns.
I was already in an aweful mood when I was leaving for work (how could I not be)
As soon as I got to work I saw the name of a certain nurse on the board, who was going to be working on my side. and I was like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
anyway, as I was writing the names of the nurses next to the room numbers on my papers so I knew who to get report from. the woman walks up behind me, takes the papers out of my hand and goes "I need my vitals"
I'm just like.............-blank stare-
Later shes like "Katelyn where have you been, I've been looking everywhere for you, You need to get vitals on the new ER, and strip the bed of the discharge"
I had been sitting at the computer at the oncology nurses station, putting in my vitals....plus. its not that hard to hit the page button and say "katelyn can you come to the nurses station?"
anyway, as we're walking down the hall we see that another nurse has already stripped the bed. and she goes "oh it looks like NURSE B is doing your job for you"
(like seriously wtf)
a few mins later she comes and finds me again and goes "well! the patient in the room you just walked out of was sitting in a dirty diaper, the daughter came and found me and asked me to change her"
(when I walked out of that room, 3mins earlier the daughter was all smiles and said "thank you" as I walked out. the fact that she went to find Nurse A, insted of telling me, is not my fault)
the night continued to go on like this, but I dont really feel like typing all of it.
at one point Nurse C came up and was like "uhhhm Katelyn I need you to stay up front because some of the nurses were looking for you and couldnt find you"
I'm thinking dont you mean "Nurse A didnt have me kissing her ass for thirty seconds and freaked out"
Like seriously, I know the nurses have alot to do, but she had 7 patients, I had 16. I'm reporting to 3 nurses. not just her. she needs to freakin chill. and learn some respect.
So finally I called her aside and I'm like "look, is there something I'm doing that you just dont like? because it seems like you're constantly looking for something to call me out on."
and then she went on a rant about how she doesnt think I have a routine, (which is bull) and yada yada yada.
Anyway, Like I said.
I'm kinda going through too much right now to deal with everyone wanting to ask whats wrong all at once, so...now you know.
on the plus side, My awesome friend Mebsie is coming for the weekend, and my BFF Daniella will be home for the weekend also. which makes life better. Cant wait!
I'd also like the thank my new friend Little Hug for helping me through all this
(my adorable present from Megz that came at just the right time)
~!Breathe Easy!~
I'm kinda going through too much right now to deal with everyone wanting to ask whats wrong all at once, so just read this.
On Saturday, my 21st birthday, a CF legend died. Eva M.
Rest In Peace Eva. Breathe Easy Angel.
On Monday, my uncle died. Leaving behind my 17yr old cousin. <3
after that all the days start blending together.
I hit a bunny on my way home from work, and cried.
I had a nightsweat caused by one of the meds I'm on mixed with the high level of stress I'm under right now. and when I say nightsweat, I mean like. climbed out of a pool wearing all my clothes and got in bed. Have to change the sheets, type of nightsweat. This nightsweat proceeded to ruin my brand new Ipod touch that I got on saturday for my birthday. I got a parking ticket for parking infront of my own house, on a side street that no one drives on unless they live there. Not that I could have avoided it. Theres a huge dumpster in my drive-way for the useless construction workers. Along with my mom's fat assed car. and my grandma who is down planning the funeral for my uncle. and I cant park next to her because that leaves a foot between my car (with the door closed) and the brick wall. which is fine for me to get out, but my dad is the one that has to move the car in the morning so he can get out of the garage.
thankfully my amazing best friend is going to have her step-dad try to get rid of the ticket for me.
now, moving on.
last night at work, I had two meltdowns.
I was already in an aweful mood when I was leaving for work (how could I not be)
As soon as I got to work I saw the name of a certain nurse on the board, who was going to be working on my side. and I was like NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
anyway, as I was writing the names of the nurses next to the room numbers on my papers so I knew who to get report from. the woman walks up behind me, takes the papers out of my hand and goes "I need my vitals"
I'm just like.............-blank stare-
Later shes like "Katelyn where have you been, I've been looking everywhere for you, You need to get vitals on the new ER, and strip the bed of the discharge"
I had been sitting at the computer at the oncology nurses station, putting in my vitals....plus. its not that hard to hit the page button and say "katelyn can you come to the nurses station?"
anyway, as we're walking down the hall we see that another nurse has already stripped the bed. and she goes "oh it looks like NURSE B is doing your job for you"
(like seriously wtf)
a few mins later she comes and finds me again and goes "well! the patient in the room you just walked out of was sitting in a dirty diaper, the daughter came and found me and asked me to change her"
(when I walked out of that room, 3mins earlier the daughter was all smiles and said "thank you" as I walked out. the fact that she went to find Nurse A, insted of telling me, is not my fault)
the night continued to go on like this, but I dont really feel like typing all of it.
at one point Nurse C came up and was like "uhhhm Katelyn I need you to stay up front because some of the nurses were looking for you and couldnt find you"
I'm thinking dont you mean "Nurse A didnt have me kissing her ass for thirty seconds and freaked out"
Like seriously, I know the nurses have alot to do, but she had 7 patients, I had 16. I'm reporting to 3 nurses. not just her. she needs to freakin chill. and learn some respect.
So finally I called her aside and I'm like "look, is there something I'm doing that you just dont like? because it seems like you're constantly looking for something to call me out on."
and then she went on a rant about how she doesnt think I have a routine, (which is bull) and yada yada yada.
Anyway, Like I said.
I'm kinda going through too much right now to deal with everyone wanting to ask whats wrong all at once, so...now you know.
on the plus side, My awesome friend Mebsie is coming for the weekend, and my BFF Daniella will be home for the weekend also. which makes life better. Cant wait!
I'd also like the thank my new friend Little Hug for helping me through all this
(my adorable present from Megz that came at just the right time)
~!Breathe Easy!~
Friday, February 19, 2010
Welcome to the Jungle!
So we'll start with last Monday.
Monday: class at 10am. home at noon. at work by 2:45pm.
Tuesday: go home at 7am (yes. I did a double shift), 7:30am get in the shower. 8am go to bed. 1:45pm wake up. back at work by 2:45. 11:30pm go home!
Wednesday: class at 10am. home at noon. at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Thursday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Friday: I'm OFF! FINALLY.
Saturday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Sunday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight. CRAZY FREAKIN NIGHT!!!
Monday: slept through class...slept all day.
Tuesday: work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Wednesday: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!!!!!!
So Wednesday. Good 'ol 4west freakin exploded!
ok, not really. but I will attempt to put it into perspective. (it wont work)
We're full. no empty beds, let alone rooms!
thats 42 patient. and yeah. there was only 2 PCTs (thats me)
ugh Running around all night cant show my face in the hall without 3 ppl calling my name. confused patients refusing to stay in bed. one guy actually pulled out of his restraints, got out of bed, grabbed the bag of his roommate's foley cath and started walking away (need I remind you the other end of the cath was still inside his roommate's bladder & penis!!!)
it was chaos like that all night.
and right as I'm about to leave. another patient. had a bit of an episode. she ripped off her oxygen, pulled out her IV, crapped all over her bed, and snapped the IV tubing. (this woman is hard to handle as shes like 90% blind, hard of hearing and VERY large.) it took 4 of us (the shift was already over for all 4 of us, but hey, what can ya do about it?) so, we finally changed the sheets and a nurse gave her atavan (I cant spell) but it didnt seem to help. because just when we thought things were calm (and we'd gone and put our coats on) I peek back in as I'm walking out. and what do I see on the floor? Urine!! she ripped out her foley cath!! GAHHH!! Thats it! I'm done! its 20mins past the end of my shift! the bloody night staff can handle this one!!
now, moving on to last night.
Well first off, they called me in early because as I've said. My floor is a freakin zoo! So I got to work at about 12:30pm. That part was relatively ok, with the exception of one combative woman who thought we were all out to get her. (I couldnt even take her temp without her flailing and screaming, she actually kicked a coworker)
so 3pm rolls around. tis my shift now. I got my vital signs done quickly and without interruption! FOR ONCE! but as soon as I finished hell broke lose! again! 3 people called my name...LITERALLY...all at the same time!!!
"Katelyn, did you get my accuchecks?"
"Katelyn, we need to change 450D"
"Katelyn, I need you to move 448W into 445W"
GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
So accuchecks come first! Finally got those done!
"Katelyn why havent you moved 448 yet?"
GAHH!
So I move 448! Then I go back to get the rest of the furniture. and once again I'm called away!
So we're in changing a patient. the reason I say "we" and not "I" is because this is a large person who I coulnt possibly move alone.
So I'm in there changing. the patient is whining that we're hurting her.
Patient: "if I didnt have to sit in it so long it would come off easier"
Nurse A: "Katelyn when a patient has Cdif you has to expect alot of diherah and check during first rounds, her family told us shes been dirty since the begining of the shift"
I keep my mouth shut.
but now let me tell you the full story.
a) I know all about the Cdif rules, I was the one that suggested she be tested for Cdif in the firs place, after her first episode of liquid stool the night before!
b) She hadnt been sitting in it long, as I said, its LIQUID therefore, it dries faster than a solid would!
c) I did check her on first rounds and she was clean.
d) she wouldnt even know if she wasnt, as she is NEVER awake for more than 15 seconds at a time.
e) her family wasnt even there at the begining of the shift. they had just gotten there.
but like I said. I didnt say any of this to Nurse A.
This patient has no self respect at all, and had been refusing to take her meds. I mean seriously if you dont care about yourself, dont expect others to care. If you're not gonna try to get better than why bother coming to the hospital.
The whole time we're in there changing the patient I'm getting lectured about things I already know. and have already done. having orders barked at me like I'm stupid.
While this nurse is just tossing things about and shoving things aside, making a disaster of the room I spent like 20mins cleaning and organizing the night before. Then she sends me out to get another pack of whipes, so I take off my gown & gloves and go wash my hands with soap and water, not the sanitizer (because these are the rules of Cdif) while I'm washing the nurse barks "Hurry it up a bit" so I do. I go and get the whipes. As I come back with them she says "before you get a gown back on go grab some diapers" And I do. (all this running back and forth is normal, but usually I get a bit more appreciation, or thanks, or at least spoken to like a person. but this time, the tone in her voice, its like shes talking to a freakin dog!) I start crying. I'm standing outside the room hold the diapers, crying. Finally I open the door. Slip in, put them on the chair, and run back out.
I go around the corner, off my unit and just sob. for like 10mins. Then, Nurse B. (a very nice nurse) comes running over and pulls me out of sight, and does the whole "are you ok?" "whats wrong?" "what happened?" thing. and I realize I'm being pathetic. I whipe my face but tears just keep coming. I explain somewhat to her. and also explain that I dont blame Nurse A, and I know its just a crazy night. but it still got to me. Nurse B understands, and tells me I can always talk to the nursing manager if its something I really have a problem with.
I pull myself together slightly and go back to my unit. Mary (my fellow PCT) comes out and sees me, and hugs me. and tells me "its all part of the learning experience, and mistakes will be made (which slightly bugs me because I didnt make a mistake, but she doesnt know that, so I let it go) ok, maybe I made a mistake by crying at work. but whatever. Then Mary leaves for dinner. So I wander down to the locker room so wash my face off. (being stopped 3 times by ppl asking whats wrong, since my eyes are still falling out of my face)
I leave the locker room. and go back about my work. Its dinner time for the patients so I just go down the hallway and ask the patients if they're ok, and if they need anything. I get into the room of who I think is one of only 2 mentally stable patients on my side of the unit as of then. (now I think theres 4 sane ppl) so I go in. and I ask her the usual questions, she asks for some soup as hers has been boiled over in th kitchen and delivered to her almost empty. I tell her I'll go see if I can accuire some fresh tomatoe soup. and I guess I had a hint of 'crying' still in my voice cuz she goes "whats wrong hunny?" and I nearly start crying all over again. Its never good when a patient sees/hears/knows you're crying.
When Mary comes back from dinner she hands me a Hersey bar an I grin. She laughs and says "you're never hard to please" and I agree. and laugh.
Anyway. the rest of the night went ok. was still crazy, but not bad.
soooooo yeah. Now I'm getting ready to go back to work. again.
at least I'm off this weekend.
Monday: class at 10am. home at noon. at work by 2:45pm.
Tuesday: go home at 7am (yes. I did a double shift), 7:30am get in the shower. 8am go to bed. 1:45pm wake up. back at work by 2:45. 11:30pm go home!
Wednesday: class at 10am. home at noon. at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Thursday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Friday: I'm OFF! FINALLY.
Saturday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Sunday: at work by 2:45pm. home by midnight. CRAZY FREAKIN NIGHT!!!
Monday: slept through class...slept all day.
Tuesday: work by 2:45pm. home by midnight.
Wednesday: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!!!!!!
So Wednesday. Good 'ol 4west freakin exploded!
ok, not really. but I will attempt to put it into perspective. (it wont work)
We're full. no empty beds, let alone rooms!
thats 42 patient. and yeah. there was only 2 PCTs (thats me)
ugh Running around all night cant show my face in the hall without 3 ppl calling my name. confused patients refusing to stay in bed. one guy actually pulled out of his restraints, got out of bed, grabbed the bag of his roommate's foley cath and started walking away (need I remind you the other end of the cath was still inside his roommate's bladder & penis!!!)
it was chaos like that all night.
and right as I'm about to leave. another patient. had a bit of an episode. she ripped off her oxygen, pulled out her IV, crapped all over her bed, and snapped the IV tubing. (this woman is hard to handle as shes like 90% blind, hard of hearing and VERY large.) it took 4 of us (the shift was already over for all 4 of us, but hey, what can ya do about it?) so, we finally changed the sheets and a nurse gave her atavan (I cant spell) but it didnt seem to help. because just when we thought things were calm (and we'd gone and put our coats on) I peek back in as I'm walking out. and what do I see on the floor? Urine!! she ripped out her foley cath!! GAHHH!! Thats it! I'm done! its 20mins past the end of my shift! the bloody night staff can handle this one!!
now, moving on to last night.
Well first off, they called me in early because as I've said. My floor is a freakin zoo! So I got to work at about 12:30pm. That part was relatively ok, with the exception of one combative woman who thought we were all out to get her. (I couldnt even take her temp without her flailing and screaming, she actually kicked a coworker)
so 3pm rolls around. tis my shift now. I got my vital signs done quickly and without interruption! FOR ONCE! but as soon as I finished hell broke lose! again! 3 people called my name...LITERALLY...all at the same time!!!
"Katelyn, did you get my accuchecks?"
"Katelyn, we need to change 450D"
"Katelyn, I need you to move 448W into 445W"
GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
So accuchecks come first! Finally got those done!
"Katelyn why havent you moved 448 yet?"
GAHH!
So I move 448! Then I go back to get the rest of the furniture. and once again I'm called away!
So we're in changing a patient. the reason I say "we" and not "I" is because this is a large person who I coulnt possibly move alone.
So I'm in there changing. the patient is whining that we're hurting her.
Patient: "if I didnt have to sit in it so long it would come off easier"
Nurse A: "Katelyn when a patient has Cdif you has to expect alot of diherah and check during first rounds, her family told us shes been dirty since the begining of the shift"
I keep my mouth shut.
but now let me tell you the full story.
a) I know all about the Cdif rules, I was the one that suggested she be tested for Cdif in the firs place, after her first episode of liquid stool the night before!
b) She hadnt been sitting in it long, as I said, its LIQUID therefore, it dries faster than a solid would!
c) I did check her on first rounds and she was clean.
d) she wouldnt even know if she wasnt, as she is NEVER awake for more than 15 seconds at a time.
e) her family wasnt even there at the begining of the shift. they had just gotten there.
but like I said. I didnt say any of this to Nurse A.
This patient has no self respect at all, and had been refusing to take her meds. I mean seriously if you dont care about yourself, dont expect others to care. If you're not gonna try to get better than why bother coming to the hospital.
The whole time we're in there changing the patient I'm getting lectured about things I already know. and have already done. having orders barked at me like I'm stupid.
While this nurse is just tossing things about and shoving things aside, making a disaster of the room I spent like 20mins cleaning and organizing the night before. Then she sends me out to get another pack of whipes, so I take off my gown & gloves and go wash my hands with soap and water, not the sanitizer (because these are the rules of Cdif) while I'm washing the nurse barks "Hurry it up a bit" so I do. I go and get the whipes. As I come back with them she says "before you get a gown back on go grab some diapers" And I do. (all this running back and forth is normal, but usually I get a bit more appreciation, or thanks, or at least spoken to like a person. but this time, the tone in her voice, its like shes talking to a freakin dog!) I start crying. I'm standing outside the room hold the diapers, crying. Finally I open the door. Slip in, put them on the chair, and run back out.
I go around the corner, off my unit and just sob. for like 10mins. Then, Nurse B. (a very nice nurse) comes running over and pulls me out of sight, and does the whole "are you ok?" "whats wrong?" "what happened?" thing. and I realize I'm being pathetic. I whipe my face but tears just keep coming. I explain somewhat to her. and also explain that I dont blame Nurse A, and I know its just a crazy night. but it still got to me. Nurse B understands, and tells me I can always talk to the nursing manager if its something I really have a problem with.
I pull myself together slightly and go back to my unit. Mary (my fellow PCT) comes out and sees me, and hugs me. and tells me "its all part of the learning experience, and mistakes will be made (which slightly bugs me because I didnt make a mistake, but she doesnt know that, so I let it go) ok, maybe I made a mistake by crying at work. but whatever. Then Mary leaves for dinner. So I wander down to the locker room so wash my face off. (being stopped 3 times by ppl asking whats wrong, since my eyes are still falling out of my face)
I leave the locker room. and go back about my work. Its dinner time for the patients so I just go down the hallway and ask the patients if they're ok, and if they need anything. I get into the room of who I think is one of only 2 mentally stable patients on my side of the unit as of then. (now I think theres 4 sane ppl) so I go in. and I ask her the usual questions, she asks for some soup as hers has been boiled over in th kitchen and delivered to her almost empty. I tell her I'll go see if I can accuire some fresh tomatoe soup. and I guess I had a hint of 'crying' still in my voice cuz she goes "whats wrong hunny?" and I nearly start crying all over again. Its never good when a patient sees/hears/knows you're crying.
When Mary comes back from dinner she hands me a Hersey bar an I grin. She laughs and says "you're never hard to please" and I agree. and laugh.
Anyway. the rest of the night went ok. was still crazy, but not bad.
soooooo yeah. Now I'm getting ready to go back to work. again.
at least I'm off this weekend.
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