Momma Duck

just a quick recap of what has been going on with my mom. in no particular order. (and grammatically incorrect lol.)
I also have no idea why the hell it keeps posting with the white background thing. GRRR

Mom had been sick for 7 weeks with pneumonia. she ended up in the hospital.

they still don't know what she has. they do know it's NOT contagious. they sent samples of everything to a few different places (CDC..ect)

but she saw 3 different pulmos and they all had the same reaction..."wow" and my mom was like "is that a good wow or a bad wow?" obviously it was a bad wow.

her sats had been stable and then one day they randomly went to the low 80s on 2L of o2. so they did a bronch and sucked out over 3 cups of mucus. when I met with her pulmo (the one she ended up staying with) I asked about different diseases/conditions and tests and results. he actually said the words "you know too much" after he left my mom goes "okay..what did you say and what did he say?" he actually said the words "you know too much".

once she was "stable" her docs decided it was safer to send her home to be in my "fully capable hands" than to have her stay there and risk contracting another infection. if she gets sick again in the next few months it could end really bad. I had to order her a HEPA filter mask for if she leaves the house (for dr appointments and such, also for when the construction starts on my house (from hurricane sandy)) she's not allowed to go Xmas or grocery shopping, or anywhere with big crowds without her HEPA mask. and I went over the house with the pledge & antibacterial wipes. she's always had a pretty non existent immune system (respiratory wise). and no one really knows why since her blood cell count is fine. years ago her doc told her she had Chronic Bronchitis (a type of COPD) but her new pulmo said that was unlikely since she never smoked. although when he did the bronch he said it did have the appearance of COPD. (you can now see why my health is so stubborn lol)

anyway, the doc said it will be a few months before she even starts to get back to normal. =[

 so yeah, that's what's going on with momma duck.

P.S. funny story.

my mom wanted a mask attachment for her neb so she can read while she does treatments. so my dad, trying to be helpful, went to the pharmacy and got one. my mom comes into my room later and goes "dad got me a mask for the neb but I can't seem to figure out how to get it on" I go upstairs and look at it. Silly daddy got a Pari mask which doesn't fit on regular nebs. my mom turns to my dad and goes "I appreciate the effort hun, but leave the lung stuff to the kid"

I love my family 

one of the hardest things I've had to do

I know I say this a lot, but this is one of the hardest things I had to do...

As many of you know, one of my dearest friends Melissa Hauser is on hospice. (end of life home care) 2 weeks ago yesterday we were talking and I asked her if she thought she would make it to Monday (which would be 3 days later) and her reply was "I'm trying hun, I'm trying".
the next morning (saturday) I backed up my shit, and got in my car, and drove to her. I spent that day with her before returning to Emily's house, which is where I was spending my nights. The next few days I made the drive from Cheshire to Vernon & back to visit Melissa. Then I decided to give the family more alone time and started going only a few days a week. It has now been exactly 2 weeks since I got here, and true to form, Melissa is still hanging on. Unfortunately I need to go home on Monday. It breaks my heart, but I have 10 doctor appointments to make, and go to, before April 3rd. I also may be getting surgery during this time as well. It has also been 3 weeks since I've seen my mom, and she is getting VERY anxious. Yesterday I said my goodbyes to Melissa, for the last time. We hugged for a long time. It was so hard, walking out that door and knowing I'd never be back. I'd never see her again. I'd never see her sweet and loving dog, Abby, again. We would never make our heart hands again. It felt so wrong, I felt so cold, just walking down her driveway. I sat in my car, just looking at her house, crying, for a good 15mins before I drove away, for the last time. Now I know, Melissa is not gone yet, however, I will not be back. It is a 3+ hour drive, and it makes my mom very nervous. I will most likely drive up for the service, when that time comes. But that will be different, I will not be driving up for a visit with my dear friend, I will be driving up to mourn her. Melissa is an amazing friend, and it kills me that I cant be there with her. I love you Melissa.






Hand Hearts Forever <3



Saying Goodbye