My Fighting Zebra

My Fighting Zebra, Melissa, is finally at rest.

Melissa went into hospice in early March, and was not expected to last more than a few days.
but true to form, she managed to make it for another 7 months.


It is hard to explain the feelings I have right now. Of course it is heartbreaking to lose someone like her, but at the same time, I know she was ready to be free of pain. In a way, I was ready too.

After watching her suffer in pain and struggle to breathe for so long, peace became the blessing. We had talked about it many times, knowing there was no amount of medicine that could even take the edge off and that there was no chance of improvement, we began accept and even welcome the "end".


Melissa was a true inspiration to anyone that knew her. Despite her illness she always managed to smile and laugh; And those around her couldn't help but do the same. Her joy was contagious and she brought out the best in people. Melissa's love for her family and friends was second to none, her loyalty and generosity unmatched. She had a heart of pure gold. Not a day will go by without me remembering her. I have only known her for about 3 years but in that time our bond became one of the strongest I've ever had.

Zebra & Ducky. 

Best Friends Forever.

Breathe Easy my Fighting Zebra,

may you finally have the peace you deserve.

March 12th, 1983 - October 24th, 2012

one of the hardest things I've had to do

I know I say this a lot, but this is one of the hardest things I had to do...

As many of you know, one of my dearest friends Melissa Hauser is on hospice. (end of life home care) 2 weeks ago yesterday we were talking and I asked her if she thought she would make it to Monday (which would be 3 days later) and her reply was "I'm trying hun, I'm trying".
the next morning (saturday) I backed up my shit, and got in my car, and drove to her. I spent that day with her before returning to Emily's house, which is where I was spending my nights. The next few days I made the drive from Cheshire to Vernon & back to visit Melissa. Then I decided to give the family more alone time and started going only a few days a week. It has now been exactly 2 weeks since I got here, and true to form, Melissa is still hanging on. Unfortunately I need to go home on Monday. It breaks my heart, but I have 10 doctor appointments to make, and go to, before April 3rd. I also may be getting surgery during this time as well. It has also been 3 weeks since I've seen my mom, and she is getting VERY anxious. Yesterday I said my goodbyes to Melissa, for the last time. We hugged for a long time. It was so hard, walking out that door and knowing I'd never be back. I'd never see her again. I'd never see her sweet and loving dog, Abby, again. We would never make our heart hands again. It felt so wrong, I felt so cold, just walking down her driveway. I sat in my car, just looking at her house, crying, for a good 15mins before I drove away, for the last time. Now I know, Melissa is not gone yet, however, I will not be back. It is a 3+ hour drive, and it makes my mom very nervous. I will most likely drive up for the service, when that time comes. But that will be different, I will not be driving up for a visit with my dear friend, I will be driving up to mourn her. Melissa is an amazing friend, and it kills me that I cant be there with her. I love you Melissa.






Hand Hearts Forever <3



Saying Goodbye